rochester road signs

Rochester Road Signs

Dear Wally:
I’ve noticed many angry politically-charged road signs along Rt 209 recently. Are we headed for a revolution? What’s your take?

Signed,
Jeannie, Stone Ridge
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Dear Jeannie,

Most people who travel Rt. 209 are doing 70 mph and are staring at the rear bumper of the car 4 feet in front of them. Your keen observations, however, are spot on. I’ve seen the signs too. While I wouldn’t say the war drums of reform are exactly thundering, the tension is growing palpable between those who dislike paying taxes and those who truly enjoy paying taxes. Or between those who enjoy the gentle bleat of half-goats and those who wince at the piercing din of lawnmowers. (Incidentally, full goats make excellent organic lawnmowers, and somewhat organic fertilize-ors). But let’s discuss my favorite sign. Somewhere in Stone Ridge, one truly agitated resident rammed in a lawn sign that says “No Nothing.” I love this. We must be able to freely express our opinions and deepest concerns. The paradox, of course, is that by insisting on ‘no nothing’ this stealthy sign sticker has committed a class-B grammar misdemeanor. This use of the dreaded double negative negates itself and inadvertently sends a message loud and clear to all who have graduated from 7th grade English-- ‘No Nothing’ thus means, in fact, EVERYTHING! While I can only imagine that this tire-kickin’ naysayer actually has something specific that curls his lip, the power and genius of the sign is that it reminds us we are all free to think and speak about all the things in general we don’t want. And we have this brave little sign to thank! Very thought provoking if you happen to look up from that bumper ahead and have nothing much better to do than think about driving.
Much more alarming than the “no nothing” sign, or the politically curried signs that poke obliquely at our notions of an agrarian community, development, taxes, ordinances or local leaders, are the signs that hit such a nerve with drivers that they slam on their brakes with no warning and pull abrupt U turns to get a better look. No fun if you are tailgating on 209. Perhaps you’ve seen these signs that pepper Rt. 209 and which are comprised of just two traffic-stopping, chilling words—“yard sale.”