Sunday, April 6, 2008

scenic overview

Dear Wally,

Someone left a TV set, 2 bags of garbage and a tire in the dead center of the road at the scenic overlook on Rt. 44/55 by Minnewaska State Park. I noticed it the other day because I almost ran over this heap of trash with my car. Am I right to be offended? What the hell is wrong with people?

Disgusted Kate in Kerhonkson

Dear Kate,

Disgusted? Offended? Oh my. Tsk tsk tsk. Grateful and appreciative should be more like it. I rode by that very spot on my bike and saw this generous donation of which you speak. Some considerate ‘donor’ realized that all this brilliant Hudson Valley foliage can really scorch our leaf-peeping retinas, especially when we can see for 25, unobstructed, eye-aching miles from the Gunks to the Catskills. What better way to cool down the bruised and hurting mountain-gawking eyeballs than by watching a little daytime tube? (Even if the TV set has no cord, the screen is shattered, and the holes where control knobs used to be are now filled with road goo and bear piss. Who cares? It was the thought that counted). I, for one, was pleasantly surprised and relieved to be able to pull over and do some TV watching in comfort. What better place to offer ocular relief than the scenic overlook on one of the country’s prettiest and well traveled roads? You will notice that ‘comfort stations’ are painfully absent on this and many stretches of road. And we need them. Consideration for fellow man is what’s at work here. This anonymous donor went out of their way to bring these creature comforts to us when it would have been much easier and expeditious to take these items to the town dump and pay the crippling sum of $4. No, I’m sorry Kate from Kerhonkson, but I think you missed the true generosity of the gift. And ‘garbage bags’ as you call them? How insulting! Talk about looking a gift horse in the mouth! Let me help you: Try 5 mil. black plastic beanbag chairs so you and your ungrateful friends could sit on your duffs and watch this TV in comfort. Discarded tire? Most certainly not. Reclassify it as a giant, keg-size drink holder, to further pamper you and a maybe few close friends as you all watch the game. Just, I’m sure, as the donor intended. You’ll soon see that generosity in spirit if you just move beyond your current perspective. There’s a lot of good out there, friend. Sometimes it just needs to be placed right in the way of your driver’s side front tire for you to see it! The problem, alas, is entirely yours. Now, get back up there missy and enjoy this complete entertainment center before some no-good thief takes it.

--Wally

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