hair dryer

Dear Wally,My wife's birthday is soon. She's been asking for a hairdryer. It seems to me like an underused piece of equipment. It'll take her, what, 15 minutes to dry her hair, then the rest of the time it'll sit in the drawer doing nothing. I know when I get a tool I use it for a lot of jobs. So what I'm wanting to know is what else can we use a hairdryer for? Thanks,Handy Dan in Accord.

Dear Dan,

As you know, the hairdryer has often been considered the Holy Grail of romantic birthday gifts and a favorite for 10-year anniversary presents (perhaps just a notch below the beloved waffle iron or an ESPN subscription ‘for her’). For certain, she’ll love this hairdryer, the gift that never stops giving. And every time she either accidentally cooks her roots or browns-out Central Hudson’s power grid, you’ll enjoy the dividends of a well executed, much appreciated gift. But as you astutely point out, the hairdryer is an under-utilized appliance. Assuming at most she washes and dries her hair twice a day, you’ve got some serious down time on that thing. And that’s just a shame. That will grate against your sense of efficiency and ultimately cause resentment. Like most inanimate objects, hairdryers like to feel needed. A couple of uses leap to mind-- These crisp late summer nights bring with them a lot of pesky morning dew. I hate starting the day with wet toes and bet you do to. So you’ve got a hairdryer and a wet lawn. All you need is a beefy extension cord and you can dry your lawn before the sun does! How great would that be? Hairdryers are also great for discouraging speeders. Sit in your car tucked safely off the road somewhere along route 209 and ‘aim’ it at oncoming traffic. They’ll swear it’s a radar gun and quickly comply with the speed limits. Alternately aim it at the kitchen ceiling and drop in a few hot dogs. Set the hairdryer to ‘Farah Fawcett’ and in no time you’ll have dinner for the entire family. That’ll keep a smile on the birthday girl’s face long after the day. Let’s also not forget leaf season which is around the corner! Don’t want to hurt your back raking soggy leaves? Blow them away with a jet blast of hot air. The multi-task tool for a lot of jobs will soon be in your wife’s hands.
Having spent so much time considering the myriad under-realized uses of the hairdryer, I now send my thanks to YOU, Dan! I do so because now I know what I’m getting my wife (and me) for her birthday!

-Wally

(Got a question that needs answering? email our advice columnist-- advice@bsp.com Attn: Wally)