dear wally 100 2 kinds of people?

Dear Wally 100

Dear Wally:

Are there really just 2 kinds of people? I keep hearing folks say people either do ‘this’ or ‘that.’ I don’t buy it. Can you shed some light?

-Dan (Kerhonkson)

Dear Dan:

OK, here are my findings which are based on a typical day’s random conversation threads, overheard at the library, gas station, supermarket, post office, gym, workplace, school and everywhere else. These are unscientific at best and this list is far from exclusive.

We’re inclined to make binary, oppositional distinctions in the first place—especially as it relates to us and others we meet along the way. Our very forgivable tendency is to box and package people’s traits because it makes it easier to get a handle on them this way. It becomes easier to stack them up relative to us, and in so doing, place them in a relative context. The true nature of people is, of course, more nuanced and probably lurks in the amorphous shadows of absolute this or that, rather than strictly behind any linear delineation.

But can we be faulted for seeking such distinctions, even if they carry with them the whiff of judgment? So many things ARE just plain black and white- -like the very paper you are reading now. And absolute like the direction you travel on rt 209 at any given moment. And undeniable like the result of 2 plus 2..

Do you like your coffee black, Dan? Are you one of those people, like me?? I’m just wondering if we can get along…

That said, let’s not over think this. You asked for it--There are two kinds of people, to wit:

Those who leave toilet seats up and those who leave toilet seats down.

Those who live in Kerhonkson and those who don’t.

Those who believe the speed limit is meant for them and those who believe it is meant for others.

Those who meditate and those who don’t.

Those who spell their name John and those who spell their name Jon.

Those who are Sues and those who are Suzies.

Those who are Suzies and those who are Susans.

Those who exercise and those who don’t.

Those who lock their front doors and those who don’t.

Those who adore chocolate and those who don’t.

Those who require coffee and those who don’t.

Those who floss and those who don’t.

Those who love olives and those who don’t.

Those who have hairy backs and those who don’t.

Those who get cavities and those who don’t..

Those who will pick up a nickel from the ground and those who won’t. (I think there’s hardly anyone left who will risk back injury for a penny)

Those who iron their sheets and those who don’t.

Those who like cats and those who don’t.

Those who can eat whatever they want and those who can’t.

Those who are good kissers and those who aren’t.

Those who like mowing lawns and those who don’t.

Those who daydream and those who don’t.

Those who dig pickup trucks and those who don’t.

Those who think Michael Jackson is a genius and those who think he was a creep.

Those who will jump out of airplanes and those who need to be pushed.

Those who spot typos and those who dont.

Those who buy organic and those who don’t.

Those who are tall and those who are not.

Those who smoke and those who don’t.

Those who are online and those who are not.

Those who will steal credit card numbers / IDs, and those who will not.

Those who will buy lemonade from a kid’s stand and those who will not.

Those who have gardens and those who do not.

Those who are open to the universe’s offerings and those who are not.

Those who can lay on the beach and not move, and those who can’t.

Those who believe in ghosts and those who don’t.

Those who like spinach and those who don’t.

Those who shave with electric razors and those who don’t.

Those who buy something for good and those who return it.

Those who travel and those who don’t.

Those who know how to swim and those who don’t.

Those who think the BSP is too damn conservative and those who think it is too damn liberal.

Those who swear by arnica and those who don’t.

Those who swear by God, and those who don’t.

Those who buy crap on late night TV and those who don’t.

Those who patronize Starbucks and those who don’t.

Those who like Chevy and those who like Ford.

Those who wear deodorant and those who don’t.

-Wally

Got a question for our advice columnist or just want to stick an opposing dichotomy (or thumb) in his eye? Contact him at cwn4@aol.com

PS- For those of you keeping score at home, you have now either giggled through, or suffered through, 100 Dear Wally columns. Thank you for this unique platform of expression and this fun milestone. I am grateful for, and appreciative of, your attention and letters. Please continue to reach out if you have come across some situation that could use a different perspective. This is, after all, an advice column and I’m not done advising…