Dear Wally #53 Toddler Travel

Dear Wally:

My wife and I are looking for clues as to what our toddler might be when she grows up. We see her take great interest in some particular activities and want to know if there’s a connection or tendency or whatever. Any insight? Are there things we can do to help steer her in one direction or another?
-Myron

Dear Myron:
Wow. This is a serious question. Well, as my driver’s ed teacher used to say to me in particular, “Keep your hands off that wheel.” I doubt we can extrapolate and predict with any accuracy what kids’ actions today might bring for them tomorrow. (Although recently I saw some home movies of me when I was a toddler. Some of the more graphic footage was of me flinging the contents of my diaper against the bedroom wall. Which, I guess, accurately predicted I would be a writer). I think if we went there, so to speak, there would be a lot more pressure on kids, and mostly disappointment in the end, if they felt their parents had a 20 year notion of occupational prearrangement, such as might unfold in the following hypothetical dialogue:
“Junior, your mother and I are a little concerned with this sudden interest in medical school. We saw you spend a lot of time dumping the dog food bowl upside down as a kid and were pretty sure that we all agreed that kibble tossing was the right career path to pursue.”
“But mom and dad, that was when I was 2. I’ve sort of changed my mind. I want to help people.”
“Nonsense, you never once played doctor. And besides, there are very few professional kibble tossers. The market prospects are thus extremely good for you to make a solid, respectable living.”
And so on.
If your theory were true, Myron, that toddler actions today were toddler careers tomorrow, there would be a glut of executioners. Have you ever not seen a little boy running around with a huge stick trying to beat something’s head off like it was a piñata? Happily, most grow out of that.
We would also have a flood of qualified applicants for the many dog and cat tail pulling positions we, as a society, would then have to create.
There would be whole fields devoted to adult frog catching, puddle stomping and doll hugging, if kids actions were any indication of future occupations.
Toddlers are just experimenting with touch, feel, smell, action etc. And things change quickly. Up until 3 days ago, for instance, my own daughter adored taking baths. She’d splash for almost hours at a time giggling and chucking water. And then suddenly, BAM, no more tub. No way. No how. I’m told that might change back at any moment, too. I think my point is that extrapolating from today’s interest is, at best, a waste of time. You’ll want to encourage exploration and commitment when the time or activity is right (I trust this will be instinctually evident to you and me) and above all not railroad anyone into anything, unless your kid is clearly going to be a major league baseball player and bankroll your golden years. In that case, go for it.
What we can hope for is that when our kids rock back on their haunches and play with pebbles in the driveway for hours, or grabs at the cat’s tail all over the front lawn, that they’ll bring with them curiosity and glee into adulthood (hopefully without Cat Scratch Fever or rabies). If you are lucky and do it right, and don’t rush the process even a little, your girl will curl up around noon as an adult and take nap so she’s refreshed and on the top of her game for the rest of the afternoon. (I tried this at my former job and, unfortunately, that’s why it is my former job). She’ll sniff flowers and laugh and define herself by her happiness and friends, not by the title on her business card.
Remember, hands sort of off the wheel!

-Wally

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