To The guy at the GYM

To the guy at the gym…
…who left the bar of soap on the shower floor:
Well, thanks, I guess. I was the next person in and was just wondering at that exact moment we passed in the locker room what I was going to do for soap (didn’t want to use the soap in the dispenser on the shower wall, a sentiment you obviously feel, too) To my sheer amazement, there was your used bar of mealy soap in the corner on the floor. Now granted it had some hair on it, but hey, isn’t soap, by definition, clean?? Exactly! THANK YOU!
So my heartfelt thanks as I soap up my privates and bring whatever diseases you have picked up over the years of your creepy, promiscuous, glory-holin' back to my precious family.
I’m just kidding, I never even touched it.
Seriously, did you think someone else was going to use the nasty soap after you turned it into your own private Ass Chia Pet? I can’t imagine all the dark alleys you sent that poor thing down to get mugged before discarding it for the custodian to pick up in his rubber gloves and hazmat suit.
Proving once again, but for the suit and ties we occasionally wear, it’s a razor thin film between us and the monkey cage…
Next time can you leave some used dental floss for us too?
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