Colbert Report "The Word- Exec Compensation"

…Which brings us to tonite’s WORD.
‘Executive Compensation’. (two words, actually, Mr. MBA)
Executive compensation is a thoroughly American institution correctly designed to reward key corporate executives for their company’s past year’s performance. (Bankruptcy). Far beyond their lofty salaries, these CEOs need fair year end compensation for the performance of the stock they have been overseeing (how about a ‘fair year end’ flogging??). The weight on their backs is enormous (daily hot stone message, silicon breast implants). Thousands of employees depend on their sound fiscal judgment everyday (Baristas and limo drivers). They also support many outside their immediate profession (criminal defense lawyers and white collar prison guards).
A corporate Exec’s lifestyle may seem glamorous on the outside (actually, it is on the inside too) but it’s more than just fancy private jets (and retreats to the Caribbean, and $1000 cigars). These titans of industry actually drive the US economy (Drive? Sorry, the auto industry is dead).
Unfortunately, their high compensation has become a lightning rod for public criticism as stockholders watch their shares devalue (freefall into Hell’s gaping maw). Many say CEOs should not be allowed to earn bonuses if the company stock doesn’t perform well. (Many who are not CEOs).
But there is a flipside. In good times, it’s true, the money flows up to them in the form of bonuses. In bad times, they are on the hot seat (the money still flows up to them in the form of bonuses).
Nation, let’s be grown up about this. If you don’t like the company’s executive compensation policy, sell your shares (for $.01) and take your business elsewhere to where there is no executive compensation, (cable TV ‘news’ stations). Or, reward those at the top for figuring out how to make money for you in this economy (on line porn). But don’t sit at home on your sofa and whine about it (They are coming to repossess your sofa tomorrow).